The Possibility of Response

Sketch for The Death of Sardanapalus, Eugene Delacroix

“I could not count the times during the average day when something would come up that I needed to tell him. This impulse did not end with his death. What ended was the possibility of response.” — Joan Didion

death deserves criticism
as much as conception
deserves contempt

by that, I mean
I’m adorned with a hooded sweatshirt
you bought in Dublin

that fertilizes a brutality
that my mother’s ovum
doesn’t recognize

the pitch of your torso
or the dissolution of
your open bones

salvation requires hyperbole
but your ghost, in its

won’t suffer
any fuckery today
the wind on my face

was cold
our fields
full of rain

God’s palm
full of nails
full of coffins full of holes